«xkcd Goes to the Airport»
[Standing outside the Airport. There is a sign saying "Airport" and a plane in the background.]
Girl: Okay, what airline?
Guy: I'm following you.
Girl: ...I'm following *you*.
Guy: I assumed we were walking to the bakery.
Girl: You always assume that!
[Presumably the security checkpoint]
Security Guy: Lockpicks? These are... illegal, actually. Where did you get them?
Guy: Oh man, it all started with this hacker girl.
Security Guy: You need to come with -
Guy: Sure, sure. But man, let me tell you about her!
[On a plane]
Announcement: If your device has a "Transmit" function, please disable it.
Guy: Okay - hang on, I'm half way through the iwconfig man page.
Security guy: Sir, is this container under three ounces?
Guy with hat: Not sure, how much blood is there in a churchmouse?
Security guy: Why don't you just go.
Under three ounces, but it stains panties.