[Cueball is sitting by his TV, holding his phone, when White Hat walks in.]
White Hat: Hey, turn on the news.
Cueball (Sitting on the floor in front of a computer holding a cell phone): Can't. Downloading a CD onto my phone.
White Hat (off-screen): Why?
Cueball: So I can use it to fix my computer's operating system enough that I can teach it to talk to my TV screen.
White Hat: But then you'll be able to watch the news?
Cueball: (off-screen): No.
White Hat: Don't you have a computer science degree?
Cueball: That just means I understand how everything went so wrong.
Certified skydiving instructors know way more about safely falling from planes than I do, and are way more likely to die that way.