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#1702: «Home Itch Remedies»
[Megan and Cueball stand together while Megan loudly scratches her itches and Cueball holds a hand up.]
Megan: Argh, bug bites are the worst. I shouldn't scratch, but... so itchy.
Cueball: Oh, you know what's great for that?
Scratch scratch

[Zoom-in to Megan's head.]
Megan: No, don't tell me. Everyone always has weird home remedies that never work. I just want sympathy.
Cueball (off-panel): No, this one isn't weird, I promise. It really helps!

[A frame less panel with a zoom-out back to Megan and Cueball. Megan is still scratching loudly and Cueball still holds his hand up.]
Cueball: First, take a hot shower. Then dip some ice cubes in vinegar and use them to crush one baby aspirin. Then make some tea, and...
Scratch scratch

[Megan walks past Cueball and away from him while Cueball turns and looks after her.]
Cueball: ...then, you need a rare French orchid-
Megan: I'm going to try a different home remedy where I complain a lot and scratch until my skin comes off.
Cueball: Sounds effective.
Megan: It's an old family trick.

In my experience, mosquitos and poison ivy are bad, but the very worst itch comes from bites from chiggers (Trombicula alfreddugesi). They're found across the American south and great plains, so the best home remedy is to move to Iceland.