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#1543: «Team Effort»
[A person stands on a stage, holding an award. Another person with a ponytail stands behind a podium next to them.]
Winner: I'd like to thank my director, my friends and family, and - of course - the writhing mass of gut bacteria inside me. -- I mean, there's like one or two pints of them in here; their cells outnumber mine! -- Anyway, this was a real team effort.

Given the role they play in every process in my body, really, they deserve this award more than me. Just gotta figure out how to give it to them. Maybe I can cut it into pieces to make it easier to swallow ...